Je suis arrive (after two levels of French, I still don’t know if that’s the correct way of say “I have arrived, peeps!”)

Well, it’s my annual return to my favorite place in the whole entire world…Paris (Paree…see, I did learn something in French. Never pronounce the “s”…makes you sound like a tourist….which I clearly am not).
And Paris is of course Paris…fabulous without words and chic without trying.
It is the center of all the things that I love and hold dearly to my materialistic heart and shallow mind:
shoes, bags, haute couture, caviar, champagne, wine, chocolates, sense of style, crepes, crazy motorcycle drivers (I have a slight thing for bad boys), art, over the top expensive “nothings” like scarves, gloves, lingerie and caps.

I love this city with all it’s “tacky and vulgar” sparkle (apparently true Parisians hate it when the Eiffel Tower lights up….it’s apparently tres unsophisticated, but what do I know…I’m just a girl that grew up in Indiana and sparkly things still capture my unrefined eyes).
You really haven’t arrived in Paris until you have seen/done the following things:
1) Been asked by a “gypsy” at a tourist attraction: “Do you speak English?”, then they hand you a note about struggling for survival, hunger, etc. Usually I say “no, I don’t speak any English but could you tell me where the bathrooms are?”….They love that.
2) Been given a “gold” ring by some “random” stranger on the street. He/she then tells you that you can keep the ring and in return give them a small token of your appreciation, since they just handed you a very valuable ring which their religion forbids them to keep. My brother paid to keep it once…his finger is still green.
I saw a guy do this to six different people….yay! for scam artists that pray on innocent people….what would a big city be without those essentials…oh yeah, it would be Zurich.
3) Seen a homeless guy shameless using adorable puppies in order to get money “to feed them”…yeah, I kind of lose it when I see that. Why doesn’t the French government make it illegal for homeless people to have pets?
4) Been riding on your velib bike only to have the biker in front of you chain smoke the whole ride to Notre Dame…then flick his ashes into the air, which of course means your face….ahhhh….the smells of Paris.
5) Decided that you’re not THAT hungry so opt out of dinner and walk to your nearest crepe stand and load up on nutella, bananas and that irresistible thin pancake. Yes, this is definitely the “something light” I was craving….screw soup or salad.
6) Taken the metro in the wrong direction because you didn’t want to look like a tourist and stop and read the signs…instead, you followed the masses into the train assuming you’re all going the same place. Wrong!
7) Ate croissants for breakfast and not at all felt guilty.
And last but not least, you really haven’t arrived to Paris until you:
Realize you’re very thirsty and walk to the nearest bar for a glass of wine. Who needs water for hydration in this city?

So, yes….I can honestly say that I have arrived in Paris.

I will be posting periodically to keep you all in the loop (all of two of you that read this blog….Mom, that includes you).

Until my next ranting….bonsoir, mon peeps!
May you be nutella crepe satisfied with all the things in your life :)