My darling Mia…you’ve had your first turn around the sun, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days and yet it all seems to me like one blink of an eye. Your birthday started on a hot Miami morning. Daddy was heading to go play golf (he was almost out the door) but I told him not to leave because I thought you might be on your way. It was Cinco de Mayo and you already knew you couldn’t miss a party. My type of gal ;)
We took a walk with the doggies, scared a few people in the elevator (they thought I was going to give birth right then and there) and then called Trudy (our doula) to come meet us at the hospital. We checked in around 12:30. We had a fun time waiting for you. We breathed, we listened to new age music, we laughed. Miss Andy brought some cookies for everyone to enjoy. The doctor very patiently waited and didn’t interrupt us. You were working hard to arrive and I had faith in you. I knew that you’d come when you were ready. At 6:23pm, you were greeted with a great big “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” from our awesome nurse, Paula. And after that, your life began with us and I, for one, was changed forever.
Because of you, my little princess Mia…I am:
…grateful. I’ve always had gratitude but never to the extend that I did the first moment I held you. I was so grateful you were healthy and all had gone well with our hypnobirth plan. Then there’s the immense gratitude I have for God for bringing you into our lives, for all our friends and family that constantly shower you with love, for the ability to spend my days with you and most of all, I am full of gratitude for the lessons in life YOU teach ME every day.
…confident. The fact that you rely so heavily on me has made me realize that I need to have confidence in my actions and words. You’ve taught me to listen to my gut, to trust my instincts and to believe in myself. There are no books that could have taught me that the way you have.
…empowered. I am a strong woman. My body created a home for you, carried you for 9 months, birthed you and then my body created the food that has been nourishing your healthy body for past year. I am amazed at my body. I am empowered to be a woman. The very same body that I complained about, the body that was never perfect enough…well, it turns out my body did its job perfectly and there’s absolutely nothing I can complain about that.
…humbled. I can’t do it all. I need help. It does take a village. And realizing that has made me vulnerable but that’s what’s allowed me to grow. Humility is not a weakness. It’s actually a great strength because only with humility can we see what we need to work on. For me, it’s controlling. I need to work on trying to not control everything because you know what…I can’t. And that’s okay. I’m not meant to juggle it all, I’m meant to do what I can.
I always knew that life would change when you arrived I just didn’t realize (or couldn’t imagine) how much I would change. I couldn’t image the joy I would get from watching you sleep or from seeing you see your reflection in the mirror or from watching you stand up for the first time with such pride in your eyes.
I didn’t know that my heart would increase its capacity to hold an infinite amount of love for you. That I would go to bed with my cheeks hurting because you made us smile all day. I didn’t know that my favorite scent would be the smell of your hair under my nose as you snuggled with me. I didn’t know that your voice would be the most magical sound in our world. I didn’t know that your laughter could make even the longest of nights wonderful. I didn’t know anything of this because I didn’t know you.
But now I do. I know you. And because of you, I know me too. You changed me…your birth gave birth to the woman that is your mother. And for that I will always be grateful.
Thank you, my love.
I can’t wait to share the future with you. To see what else you teach me. To see how else you change our lives for the better. I can’t wait to hear you speak your mind, to hear you sing a song, to watch you dance and jump. Thank you for giving us this past year full of love, happiness, self awareness and wonder….and always, always, always remember that you are loved, you are special and you are our treasure.
Martha (tu mami)
Photo credit: Mayleen Gonzalez